Shiny Little Piece of Black Plastic

More Consolevania

87th — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 16:59:46 +0000

Another Consolevania post! If you’re not pleased by that, you can fuck off, because Consolevania’s fantastic.

First of all, I’ll tell you that Consolevania Series 4 has been going for about a month, and you can watch it, either on YouTube or on the official site.

Nice, huh? Well, there’s also a high-quality compilation episode of that up for download with “exculsive” new stuff from TEAM! You can download that here-
Consolevania Series 4 – WAVE 1

Thirdly, I’m undergoing a lengthy process of chopping up everything from Consolevania and videoGaiden, clip by clip (a “clip”, in this case, is a review, feature, skit or anything like that) to make it easier to access, easier to show off and easier to figure out what bit is in what episode. Here’s what I’ve done so far-
consolevania – Series 1
Episode 1
Episode 2

videoGaiden – Series 3 extras
Advent Calendar
videoGaiden Mobile

I don’t update this blog very often, so if you want to keep up to date on my uploads, you’re best off subscribing to my YouTube channel, which you can find here!

Adam & Joe Update (Part 2)

87th — Sun, 15 Jun 2008 23:32:53 +0000

I’ve had a couple of problems with uploading recently, since my laptop decided to turn into pure shite this week, but I managed to get 3 episodes up. I’ll get more up next week, on someone else’s PC.

The Adam & Joe Show – Series 1
Episode 1 – http://www.megaupload.com/?d=5U92QFK7
Episode 2 – http://www.megaupload.com/?d=RWJS6D2N
Episode 3 – http://www.badongo.com/vid/757322

Since that’s a bit of a crap amount of stuff to do an update for, I’ll include a couple of YouTube things too. One is a Vinyl Justice bit I uploaded a couple months back from Series 3 of the Adam & Joe Show, where they look at some records owned by Ray Manzarek of “The Doors”. The other is a short video from new Adam Buxton show called “MeeBOX” that’ll be on BBC3 at 11:45 next Sunday. Watch!

Adam & Joe’s American Animation Adventure

87th — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 23:23:34 +0000

Seems this A&J update is going to take a while (takes about an hour to upload a 30 minute episode), so I’ll do them by series, rather than posting nearly 50 (really!) videos at once. I’m posting links from Adam Buxton’s personal blog to save me uploading. This is some of the weaker stuff that A&J have done, but it’s also some of the less widely-seen stuff, so it’s probably new to you. I tried asking Adam Buxton for permission to post these, but he doesn’t accept messages from strangers on his YouTube channel, it seems, and to be frank, I couldn’t be arsed sending him a letter. If anybody from any of the shows has a problem with me putting this stuff up, send me a message and I’ll happily take it down. The American Animation Adventure was “split (for easy up and downloading)”, but the other series’ will be full videos.

Episode 1: Voice Agent
Part 1: http://adam-buxton.com/ad/wp-content/AJSAAAVOICE1SCRENDER.mp4
Part 2: http://adam-buxton.com/ad/wp-content/AJSAAAVOICE2SCRENDER.mp4
Part 3: http://adam-buxton.com/ad/wp-content/AJSAAAVOICE3SCRENDER.mp4

Episode 2: Pavel
Part 1: http://adam-buxton.com/ad/wp-content/AJSAAAPAVEL1SCRENDER.mp4
Part 2: http://adam-buxton.com/ad/wp-content/AJSAAAPAVEL2SCRENDER.mp4

Episode 3: Fanimation
Part 1: http://adam-buxton.com/ad/wp-content/AJSAAAFANIMATION1SCRENDER.mp4
Part 2: http://adam-buxton.com/ad/wp-content/AJSAAAFANIMATION2SCRENDER.mp4

Episode 4: Gunboy
Part 1: http://adam-buxton.com/ad/wp-content/AJSAAAGUNBOY1SCRENDER.mp4
Part 2: http://adam-buxton.com/ad/wp-content/AJSAAAGUNBOY2SCRENDER.mp4

Episode 5: Right Toon Reply
Part 1: http://adam-buxton.com/ad/wp-content/AJSAAARIGHTTOONREPLY1SCRENDER.mp4
Part 2: http://adam-buxton.com/ad/wp-content/AJSAAARIGHTTOONREPLY2SCRENDER.mp4

Episode 6: Rugrats
Part 1: http://adam-buxton.com/ad/wp-content/AJSAAARUGRATS1.mp4
Part 2: http://adam-buxton.com/ad/wp-content/AJSAAARUGRATS2.mp4

If anyone is upset about the lack of videoGaiden/Consolevania in this post, I have a treat for you; A new set of ripped FLVs of the Mobile review videos from pobhockle, a new Advent Calendar video on YouTube (ripped and uploaded by yours truly), and the full-length version of my bit on the forum’s MGS review:

videoGaiden Mobile Reviews: http://www.mediafire.com/?m1xzydis0yo

videoGaiden Series 3 downloads

87th — Sat, 17 May 2008 03:00:32 +0000

Just spent about the last two days ripping and uploading Series 3 of videoGaiden, but it’s all up now. These are all WMVs ripped off the BBC’s videoGaiden website. Enjoy!

Episodes
Episode 1: Complaint – http://www.megaupload.com/?d=R6KTYNPJ
Episode 2: Miscommunication – http://www.megaupload.com/?d=LHACS2YO
Episode 3: Holidays – http://www.megaupload.com/?d=GMDGBT6J
Episode 4: Comedy – http://www.megaupload.com/?d=76Q9TEVQ
Episode 5: Graphics – http://www.megaupload.com/?d=H4L7QBOW
Episode 6: Lust – http://www.megaupload.com/?d=ER1B71HN
Episode 7: Convention – http://www.megaupload.com/?d=74FN568Z
Episode 8: Critique – http://www.megaupload.com/?d=4KU65PE1
Episode 9: Continuty – http://www.megaupload.com/?d=BUDNB09F
Episode 10: Censorship – http://www.megaupload.com/?d=JEXUV14N
Episode 11: Radiogaiden – http://www.megaupload.com/?d=DH8WYEN4
Episode 12: Celebration – http://www.megaupload.com/?d=OL5PFLOM
Episode 13: Convalescence – http://www.megaupload.com/?d=JP60WY0G
Episode 14: Celebrity – http://www.megaupload.com/?d=MC4J4SGP
Episode 15: Conflict – http://www.megaupload.com/?d=HOIW2FES
Episode 16: Cash – http://www.megaupload.com/?d=VE4YCCKU
Episode 17: Captive – http://www.megaupload.com/?d=CS4Y6ZUZ
Episode 18: Closedown – http://www.megaupload.com/?d=PINSS4GD

Specials
Christmas Special – http://www.megaupload.com/?d=SL153CPB
February Christmas Special in March – http://www.megaupload.com/?d=CY5QVZ3C
videoGaiden Awards – http://www.megaupload.com/?d=7BMUTHHHC

videoGaiden Mobile
Virtua Fighter 5 – http://www.megaupload.com/?d=4I1YJOOD
Speedball 2 – http://www.megaupload.com/?d=J980KNVZ
Clive Barker’s Jericho – http://www.megaupload.com/?d=TLRY6QD7
Call Of Duty 4 – http://www.megaupload.com/?d=6ENBKZ24
Guild Wars: Eye of the North – http://www.megaupload.com/?d=HOKQ96YG

Advent Calendar Videos
Advent Calendar Intro – http://www.megaupload.com/?d=5TY45VBZ
Portal Review – http://www.megaupload.com/?d=GB5X1LXW
Endless Ocean Review – http://www.megaupload.com/?d=JUCYVVLK
Sam & Max: Season 2, Episode 1: Ice Station Santa – http://www.megaupload.com/?d=4OLZ1NV4
Captain Fighthard Developer Diary – http://www.megaupload.com/?d=XPZ3KNK0
Christmas Recommendations – http://www.megaupload.com/?d=SBZ6M503
Geometry Wars: Waves Review – http://www.megaupload.com/?d=TQIA9IVZ
Christmas Message – http://www.megaupload.com/?d=7DE7IFZ4

YouTube Playlists
Advent Calendar – http://uk.youtube.com/view_play_list?p=21C5ABFB7B999D03
videoGaiden Mobile – http://uk.youtube.com/view_play_list?p=F8716589F77B52D0

I might try and add some more of this to YouTube. I might even host some AVI files, as the PS3 seems to have trouble with WMVs. I’ll post any new links if I do any of that.

Bed Peace

87th — Mon, 05 May 2008 02:28:38 +0000

I’ve spent most of today in bed, considering issues that have haunting the back of my mind for quite some time now. I’m not quite open enough or trusting enough to discuss most of these in this post, but most of these are problems that I’ve been trying not to think about for a while, but they’re starting to catch up with me, now. For the most part, it’s been utterly depressing, and my social situation is a little political and cold at the moment, so I’ve not been too eager to talk to any friends (and certainly not family) about it. What has kept me going though, is the music of John Lennon, which I have been downloading all day. It’s a testament to the strength of his songwriting and how people can find emotional support in music. At points, his songs have cheered me up. At other points, they have been sympathetic to my feelings and condition. It’s helped like nothing else could, right now.

To make this post a little less personal (as I’m really uncomfortable discussing my weaknesses), my day has shown me some of the ethical advantages of illegal downloading. I’m sure that if I didn’t have well-written music to rely on, I’d probably be going through a terrible depression right now. I can’t really purchase too much music at the moment, but having John Lennon on (a slow-flowing) tap has been wonderful. Since I respect John Lennon so much, I’m sure I’ll purchase these albums when I have a bit more money, even though I doubt his cremated corpse will get much of a benefit from the profit. It justifies the whole process for me, but I guess most people are arseholes, and just want some free throwaway choons if they’re downloading anything, so I suppose it makes sense that this type of thing is looked down upon. I mean, when the average joe’s feeling blue, they just need a bit of wife-beating or child molesting to get them through.

Keep hanging on, people.

Tips for Platinum Games

87th — Thu, 01 May 2008 03:42:40 +0000

So, I hear you’re doing a game headed by Shinji Mikami and Goichi Suda? OBVIOUSLY, it’s God Hand 2/GODHAND II/God Hands/GAWDHANNTOO. Why? Because you want to make me happy. The main thing that was missing from God Hand was No More Heroes, and the main thing that was missing from No More Heroes was God Hand, so it’s an obvious option (despite the fact that you don’t own the licence and can’t actually release a sequel, blah blah blah…). Before you do though, make sure all of these things are in your game. It’s what you need to do to finally make a game that’s better than Snatcher, killer7 and MetalGear 2: Solid Snake:

When you kill an enemy, you should be able to jump on their face with your arms raised celebration
You should be able to use “MANNONs” (MAn caNNONs)
Jean-Phillippe Brisco from Michigan: Report From Hell should be in the game
Jean-Phillippe Brisco should be played by the cheap, shitty actor from the PAL version of Michigan: Report From Hell
You should fight a man who has a knife in his shoe
You should be able to punch Jean-Phillippe Brisco
You should be able to throw poisonous snakes at people
Bear-tank from Rakuga Kids and Konami Krazy Racers should be a playable character
You should be able to push Jean-Phillippe Brisco into spikes
There should be a “Dog Ending”
Saving your game in God Hand 2 should allow you to play as Jean-Phillippe Brisco in every Super Smash Bros. game
There should be a boss character who pluralises words incorrectly (i.e. “sheeps”, “mans”, etc.)
The Mad Midget Five should re-appear with full face-deformation physics applied when you punch them in the face
You should be allowed to kill children in one punch (oh come on, MetalGear 2 did it!)
Ayame Blackburn should NOT be in the game
There should be a very strange line of dialogue that could be misunderstood as a Flashback reference
There should be a level set in a Bernard Matthews’ farm
You should have an option to play nothing but “The Seeker” by The Who and “My Size” by John Entwistle as the BGM (this should actually be an obvious option on the title screen)
God Hand 2 should be compatible with the Steel Battalion controller
You should KEEP YOUR FUCKING ABILITIES WHEN YOU REPLAY THE GAME
There should be an option to play a 2D version of the game (possibly a Sonic 2 hack)
The whole of Channel 4′s “Bodyshock: The 4ft 2 Year-Old” should appear as an unlockable movie
You should win real money for playing the game
There should be a triple-pack that includes the Japanese, American and European versions of the game
There should be an enemy who tells you to “Get lost, Wisp!” (not Jean-Phillippe Brisco)
Every second enemy should still tell say “You’re not Alexander”, but there should be more distortion on the voices (extremely high pitched voices, very echoey voices, computerised voices, etc.)
God Hand 2 should be the same length as God Hand, but should get longer when you want to replay it.
God Hand 2 should be released on MSX2, Neo Geo Pocket Color, Wii, Mega CD and PlayStation 3 in a 4-month games drought.

Do all of this and you will have made the greatest game thing ever. Please try.

EDIT- In fact, you might as well not do that. Just make something that was as good as killer7.

Nothing’s doing

87th — Wed, 30 Apr 2008 18:26:42 +0000

A personal, diary-like, blog post can only mean one thing. I’m bored and lazy. Why bored? Because Grand Theft Auto IV arrived yesterday and wouldn’t run on my PS3. It seems my Japanese PS3 has an issue with PAL SD TV signals (read: shit TVs), and won’t let me play games that require it. It hadn’t been a problem until yesterday, as most games either supported NTSC or were shit and not worth buying. GTA IV is the first exception that I’ve come across. I’d been looking forward to this week for a few months now, and I made sure that nothing else was happening while I was playing GTA IV. Without GTA IV, nothing’s happening at all, and it’s fucking miserable.

I sold my UK copy on eBay (yes, I capitalise it like the logo; don’t make a fuss you pedantic prick) today, eager to purchase an American copy from videogamesplus.ca, and I made a decent profit from the process, too. The buyer hasn’t paid yet though, so I don’t want to send the game. It’ll be fucking ages before I play GTA IV at this rate.

In other news, Rab got his Xbox 360, so he can play GTA IV. That makes one of us then, eh you fat poof?

Rab’s Red Ring Appeal

87th — Wed, 16 Apr 2008 23:26:42 +0000

Poor Rab! Two weeks left until Grand Theft Auto 4 comes out and his XBox 360 gets the “Red Ring of Death”. Help in whatever way you can!

The confusion and frustration of MetalGear Online

87th — Wed, 16 Apr 2008 16:02:45 +0000

I’m writing this on the day that the MetalGear Online Beta was put up for download on the American and Japanese PlayStation Network stores, but not the European one. Don’t ask me what’s going on beyond that, because it’s all bizarre, frightening and disorientating. I’ll attempt to describe the situation in better detail, though.

At the start of the month, Konami had said that American and European gamers would be able to receive a free DVD if they pre-ordered MetalGear Solid 4: Guns Of The Patriots in April. In this DVD is a code that would allow you to download a timed “Beta” [read: Demo] of MetalGear Online; the multiplayer component in MGS4 (though it’s being advertised as a separate game).

Americans pre-ordered at Gamestop stores and received their DVDs without a hitch, but there was no sign of a European DVD. While this was happening, a Japanese Beta was announced, which would be free to all those with a “Konami ID”. Many gamers then fumbled through the pages of kana, attempting to gain a code that would later let them download the Beta.

Soon after that, there were reports (though I still haven’t seen a press release confirming this) that the European Beta was now free to download from the PlayStation Network Store in mid-April. Now, everyone is busy creating fake PAL PSN accounts.

Today, the download went online (no gameplay yet). There are reports of people being denied access to the Beta, as they have signed up to the wrong territories’ version. There is also a complete lack of official information regarding the European release. I have seen a couple of “NOW PLAYING: MetalGear Online” signs next to some of my PS3 contacts’ names, but apparently they can’t do anything more than just look at the title screen.

You’d have thought they would want to make this easy for people, but I am utterly lost on what to do. I’m not even sure if I’ll be able to play this until MGS4 comes out now. Oh well, GTA4′s out soon enough; who cares about a glitchy, cut-down version of MGS4′s online mode?